Training

Process-Based Goals

In my previous post, I wrote about my focus for the rest of my Moose Mountain Marathon training: to run in a more engaged way, instead of settling back and running a too-slow pace because it feels “easy.” Running “engaged” to me doesn’t mean running hard all the time. Like I said, I’ve found many times that I thought I was running at a decent clip, only to look down and see I’m running a 19 or 20 minute pace (on trails). I’ve found that by altering my form, I can run faster while still maintaining an aerobic heart rate (if that’s the plan for the workout), but I tend to settle into a form that lends itself to slower-paced running, when I’m not engaged.

Then on Tuesday, I read an article on I Run Far by Joe Uhan about setting process goals rather than outcome goals. It sounded exactly like what I was talking about.

“A process goal is a subjective, qualitative measure of how something is done, rather than how much or how fast. Examples of process goals might include how a run feels (the goal to ‘find ease’) or how the body moves (biomechanical goals such as ‘quick feet, strong arms, and forward lean’). Sometimes the processes are analog: ‘go run’ or ‘go to sleep now.’ But built into each process goal is both an execution–do or do not–and a feel.”

In my first paragraph I described a biomechanical process goal without realizing I was. People set process goals for races a lot, without realizing it. Usually those process goals are “finish smiling” or “finish strong” or something similar. However, those process goals are often B or C or Z goals, with an outcome-based A goal (finish under X hours, set a PR, finish in the top 10/top 3/etc.). And the process goals aren’t taken as seriously, or are there as an afterthought but would be considered a failure. I mean, would anyone ever set a goal of finishing, say, a 100 mile race under 24 hours, and then be happy with a 36:59:59 finish as long as they were smiling? Probably not unless they had some kind of beatific transformation while out on the trails. Which we all do, don’t we? But not to that extent.

I don’t know if I can ever really eliminate outcome-based goals from my running strategies. I like focusing on hitting times. I don’t worry too much about placing because it’s unrealistic for me. I like to see how my placing has improved in 5Ks, but that has as much to do with the makeup of the race entrants as it does about my abilities as a runner. I also like the certainty of knowing I hit those goals. How do I know if I’ve achieved a process-based goal? It’s a feeling. Yesterday, I ran 7 miles on the Superior Hiking Trail, starting at Twin Ponds and running toward Enger/Piedmont/out that general way. It was pretty hot, probably still in the high 80s F, when I started, and I felt a bit funky for the first mile or two, but I really tried to stay engaged on the flats, downhills, and gentle uphills. I ended up with a much better pace than the last time I’d run a similar course, and a much better pace than I normally hit on Superior Hiking Trail runs. Granted, I also had a much higher average heart rate than I have had on some of those runs, but it was hot and I was also powering up the hills. There were also times when I did notice myself settling in or running lazily. And there were times when I wasn’t letting my heart rate recover enough and should have slowed down, but continued to push. So does that mean I made my goal or not? I felt like I did. So I did. Participation trophy, please.

I’m interested in seeing what else I can learn from the rest of the columns on this topic (the article was part 1 of I think 3?), and how my training and racing will be affected by what I discover.

Moose Mountain Marathon Training: Week 1

Obviously this is a continuation of the training I’ve been doing all summer, rather than a 6 week marathon training program. (MMM is Sept 10th.) I took a couple weeks “off” from training, averaging about 16 miles/week, so this past week of training was my return to training-level mileage.

Monday: 6 mi, road, 135 bpm
Tuesday: 6.4 mi, road/trail (including 6x Chester Bowl ski hill), 152 bpm
Wednesday: rest (30 min of yoga)
Thursday: 8.5 mi, road, 152 bpm
Friday: rest (travel)
Saturday: 5.6 mi, road, 144 bpm
Sunday: 5.1 mi, road, 142 bpm
Total: 31.8 mi

This is almost double the mileage I’ve done the past 2 weeks, but I didn’t feel like it was a huge, exhausting increase. I did do mostly road running, mostly due to time or travel constraints.

My focus for this mini training cycle is my “lazy” running. I have complained about this before, but I have this terrible tendency to sit back when I’m running. I’m not an expert in running form and I don’t really know how I “look” when I’m running, but I do know how it feels. When I’m running “lazy,” I’m leading with my hips, and my shoulders are back. When I’m not running “lazy,” my shoulders and upper body are more forward. I suspect that I’m also running a slightly higher cadence when I’m running in a more engaged way, but I haven’t paid much attention to cadence so I can’t say. The more engaged running style is much more efficient; I can run faster paces while maintaining the same heart rate, and I can run faster overall. I don’t think I can go much faster in my relaxed/lazy posture, and so I need to train myself to stop running in that posture. Easier said than done. No more mindless running for awhile.

Tuesday’s hill workout was tough, but necessary. Chester Bowl is fairly steep, and my legs start to burn before I’m even halfway up. I need to learn to avoid going there on Tuesdays, though; I forgot about the concert series. It’s not on the hill, so it’s not like I was running through the audience, but there were still more people milling around the bottom than I’d like, and there was a young couple lying literally right next to the only dirt path up the hill. They didn’t move for my first few reps up the hill, which was really awkward. I didn’t feel like moving off the little path, since the grass had not been cut recently and I didn’t want to add that extra challenge. I ran about 4 more miles after I complete my hill repeats, and my legs recovered nicely, so I think the workouts are really beneficial.

Wednesday I could/should have run, since my haircut was… canceled, at the last minute, kind of. Rather, I drove up to the salon and it was no longer a salon, but a travel agency. I did not get the info that the salon had moved/closed when I made the appointment 3 weeks ago, which seemed like maybe some important information to have. I did about 30 minutes of yoga, although I really, really sucked at it. I struggled with all the poses and my flexibility in certain positions was pathetic. I did 5×10 pushups after. That was my one organized strength workout for the week, oops.

I didn’t do a long run this weekend due to travel. My family got together at the cabin my dad rented for the summer, and I did not want to take the time for a long run. It was much more important to spend time with people, especially my nephew, who lives in Grand Forks, and my grandparents, who will be returning to Florida permanently, and no longer coming up to Duluth in the summers. I didn’t want to spend 2-3 hours (or more) alone doing some boring long run (the scenery is nice on the lake, but the only running options are county roads with no shade, or smaller roads with lots of bugs) when I had limited time with everyone. I also slept in a tent Friday and Saturday night and didn’t get good rest, so a shorter run was less taxing. I don’t know if kneeboarding and tubing officially count as strength training, but I’ll count both. It took a lot of strength to hang on for dear life when centripetal force threatened to fling me out of the tube (actually a raft) during a particularly tight, fast turn. I did a small amount of lake swimming as cross training, too!

This upcoming week, I’ll be getting serious about running again, and getting my mileage back up in the 40s. My plan is to start running earlier in the day, like when I get home from work, not an hour and a half later, after lolly-gagging about. This will give me time to do strength workouts after running, and also ensure I don’t miss prime-time Olympic coverage, which is a HIGH priority.

Heated Discussion

I’m really trying to get my running mojo back, and had an OK start to the week (kinda crummy Monday run, rest Tuesday, bada$$ hill workout Wednesday), but all that progress has sort of ground to a halt due to the weather.

Wednesday in the wee small hours of the morning, there was a fairly monstrous thunderstorm in Duluth that knocked out our power. Annoying, yes. But much more annoying when the next two days reach high temperatures of over 90F. It’s highly unlikely we’ll be getting power back any time soon, but in the meantime the weather is sapping my will to do anything. I didn’t run yesterday, and I’m still on the fence about today. I had originally planned on running yesterday, but after driving around trying to find a place that was open so I could get a cold drink and buy some ice to put in the fridge, my energy was pretty well sapped. There were a lot of downed power lines, fallen trees, and non-functioning stoplights and streetlights so it also wouldn’t have been a very safe decision to run.

I’m trying to decide if it’s a good idea to take this opportunity to get some prolonged rest. My choices for today are 1. don’t run or 2. run later in the evening (with a headlamp and vest). I’ve been waffling on what to do. I slept poorly, but felt pretty decent most of today – until I went to lunch and had to go out in the heat. Now I feel like donkey crap. I’m sure once I get home and can relax a bit, I’ll feel better again, and then I’ll make a “game-time” decision, as it were. If I do take today off, I think I’ll call it a week and start fresh on Monday. Let’s all hope I’m not still out of power by then (outlook not so good).

Eugene Curnow Trail Marathon Training: Week 8

Technically I guess this is now Moose Mountain Marathon training.

Monday: 5 mi, treadmill, 145 bpm
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: 5.3 mi, paved trail (Lakewalk starting @ East HS), 137 bpm
Thursday: 4.3 mi, paved trail (Lakewalk starting @ Brighton Beach), 134 bpm
Friday: rest
Saturday: 10 mi, trail (SHT starting at Lismore Rd), no HRM
Sunday: 13.1 mi, paved trail (Munger Trail starting at Munger Inn), 146 bpm
Total: 37.9 mi

Not much to say. Most of the week consisted of maintenance runs, assuming I’d be racing on Saturday. Then I ran two rather punishing runs over the weekend in self-flagellation.

I’ll just wallow in self pity a little bit longer and then maybe start enjoying running again.

Sunk Costs

At 3:38 this morning, half an hour or so before my alarm, I got out of bed and sent a defeated email to the race director, scratching myself from the race. I’d been tossing and turning and unable to sleep, and I couldn’t start my first marathon after being up for 24 hours.

So, I’m not a marathoner. Just embarrassed. It was a beautiful day, I had good (not great, but good) training, and I was finally coming to accept that I could actually complete the race. Of all the things to go wrong, all the reasons I might not get to the finish line, I didn’t think it would be something that would prevent me from getting to the starting line.

And people run races sleep-deprived all the time. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but this is different. This isn’t about speed or physical ability, things that are not completely within my control. Mental toughness is completely within my control, and I wimped out. People running Hardrock right now have had less sleep than I would have by the time the race ended.

I made a good decision that I can’t seem to live with. I do think it was the right decision for me: I’ve never run a marathon before, I would have had to drive myself to the race already sleep-deprived, and I wasn’t running with a crew, so if I was unable to continue, I wouldn’t have had a way to get home and would have had to beg for a ride to the finish, or sit at an aid station until my husband finally woke up (he sleeps late on the weekends due to an unusual shift schedule) and could come get me. Not ideal.

I’m still mad at myself. Mostly for not being able to even muster 3 lousy hours of sleep. I’ve run on little sleep before, like at Zumbro. But never on no sleep. And maybe I did really get some sleep and just didn’t realize it, but I doubt it. My fitness tracker shows me restless more than once an hour, and doesn’t show my heart rate dipping down to the level it normally is while I’m sleeping until after I’d sent my email and gone back to bed. And even then, it took me awhile to fall asleep and I still woke up around 9. Race anxiety got the best of me, it seems.

I’m not sure what I could have done differently. I thought about a lot of different things. Take a sleep aid? I went to bed at my normal time, I’m tired at that time almost every night. I didn’t sleep in on Friday, either, probably only got 5-6 total hours of sleep Thursday night (another factor in my decision not to run). I wouldn’t have known I needed a sleep aid until it was too late. They don’t always work, either, they tend to either backfire, or make me sleepy long after they wear off. Plus I always fear when I take them, I’ll sleep through my alarm. Eat something different or eat earlier? I always eat late and had no stomach issues last night. Not drink a pop before bed? Again, I drink a pop with dinner most nights (it’s my one pop of the day and IDGAF if I shouldn’t have it), and I don’t have trouble sleeping. Go to bed earlier? I wasn’t tired earlier, that would have been pointless. Run a few miles to tire me out a little more? Maybe. I considered that and then realized I still had to go check out where I was going to park in the morning, so I didn’t have time to run a couple miles.

The only thing I think I could have done differently was change the logistics of my plan. I worried about parking more than anything else. I was afraid there wouldn’t be a spot to park (it’s pretty limited), but I didn’t want to take the bus from Carlton at 4:45; I’d have to have gotten up earlier and driven in the dark to the finish line. I guess I should have just done that, but I wanted to have my car with me and have a little more freedom. I’m not sure that would have helped, but I did worry about it. So if I do this next year: I’m taking the bus.

I need to turn this setback into something positive. Besides saving money by canceling my post-race massage, I mean.

I still have the Moose Mountain Marathon to complete, and I have work to do. Weight to lose. Diet to improve. Speed to increase. Core muscles to strengthen. All the things I put by the wayside as I rushed to train for this marathon, and started getting a little mentally checked out. I was going through the motions of getting the miles in, but I wasn’t doing much else. So here’s my chance to make it right, and to toe the line in Schroder on September 10th with confidence and strength.

Eugene Curnow Trail Marathon Goals

24 hours from now, I’ll be departing at the Lake Superior Zoo, hopefully at a decent pace and hopefully not needing to pee already.

A couple weeks ago, I was wearing headphones on a run, one of the rare times I do, and this song came on and it is now my mantra for the race.

I will not go down under the ground
“Cause somebody tells me that death’s comin’ ’round
An’ I will not carry myself down to die
When I go to my grave my head will be high,
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

I’m not going to give up. I’m going to battle through anything this race throws at me, whether it’s heat or rain or mud or who knows? I’m prepared, or as prepared as I can be. I’m going to be a marathoner by tomorrow afternoon.

Goals:
A Standard: 8:30:00
B Standard: 9:00:00
C Standard: 9:59:59

I don’t usually have a back-up back-up before the race begins, but there are so many unknowns that I figured I’d better have more options for success. I made a “laminated” (covered in clear tape) chart noting what time I’d need to arrive at each aid station in order to be on pace for each of these goals. This will eliminate any need to compensate for GPS error, and will allow me to know my situation even if my GPS watch dies.

All of these goal times are at paces slower than even my Superior 25K race, which was somewhat of a disaster. UltraSignup suggests I should target a finish time of 8:53:16, which is very precise. I’d take that, for sure.

I’ve still got a laundry list of things left to do, although the list is long because I have gotten very detailed. I have things like “fill hydration pack” on the list. I also have writing this post on my list. Check. So, I don’t have a lot of big stuff to do, just a billion little things that will take a few seconds apiece. I bought a lot of gels and put my precious vanilla Coke in the fridge. I’m ready.

The usual non-pace-related goals apply: I don’t want to puke, become incontinent, pass out, or otherwise have a medical emergency. I don’t want to get struck by lightning in the event of a storm. I don’t want to get poison ivy when I have to step off the trail to pee. I don’t want to get swept or pulled off the course for weather-related issues. (I don’t know if this race actually sweeps, they give no cut-off times.) I need get in a couple warm up miles, especially since I’ve been sluggish the past couple days. I will start at the back of the pack as I always do, and run my own race.

Let me drink from the waters where the mountain streams flood
Let me smell of wildflowers flow free through my blood
Let me sleep in your meadows with the green grassy leaves
Let me walk down the highway with my brother in peace.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.

Eugene Curnow Trail Marathon Training: Week 7

I’m deep in the throes of race anxiety at the moment.

Monday: 5.2 mi, road, 132 bpm
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: 5.5 mi, trail (Hartley hodgepodge), 146 bpm
Thursday: rest
Friday: 7 mi, treadmill (tempo run), 145 bpm
Saturday: 9 mi, trail (SHT, Magney Snively trailhead to Becks Road & back), 147 bpm
Sunday: 4.8 mi, trail (Bagley, though I think the GPS is off/too high on mileage), 142 bpm
Total: 31.6 mi

I actually didn’t intend to cut down the mileage quite so far. I thought I’d do about 35 miles, but 3-4 of my runs last week were shorter than I’d intended. It doesn’t really matter. My run on Saturday was good, I was able to run under 20 min/mile over some fairly tough terrain, also including a stop to take a selfie on top of Ely’s Peak. Here is a huge photo of me.

The rest of the week was basically boring.

Like I said, I am extremely anxious about Saturday’s race. It doesn’t look like it will be too hot, so that is good. Now my 2 biggest concerns are 1. mud/trail conditions and 2. getting pulled off the course due to a storm. I guess I just need to be faster and finish before any potential thunderstorms develop. Hahahahahahahahaha. It rained a lot on Monday so the trail conditions and water crossings could be… interesting.

My biggest irrational concern is getting lost, which I’ve addressed. Everything else should be ok. I know I can finish. I know I’m probably going to perform better than I am expecting, but I am keeping my expectations low and manageable. I have another marathon 8 weeks after this one, so I can’t go buck wild.

There’s not much left for me to do, besides avoid injury, get adequate sleep, and complete a page-long, evolving to-do list. “3 more sleeps” until the race, as they say. Never mind that my resting heart rate is on the way up, my feet are sorta grossly calloused, and I am over-analyzing and second-guessing just about every decision I’ve made regarding this race. Especially signing up. WTF was I thinking?

It’ll be fun. Or a learning experience. Or both.