The Time Off That Wasn’t

*Hmmm, perhaps I should have added a title the first time around. Fixed*

I’d been really looking forward to taking time off running and then easing back into it, but it’s not working out the way I thought.

The main reason for this is I am incredibly stressed about the FE exam. I don’t feel prepared, and I’m running out of time. Rescheduling is not an option, both because I don’t want to pay their stupid fee to reschedule, and also because the format of the test changes starting in July. (It’s currently straight up multiple choice, but with the next testing window, they will have other options like fill in the blank or something, which in my opinion makes the test significantly harder. I guess I’ll find out if I don’t pass this time around!) It’s my own fault for 1. putting the test off so long that I’ve forgotten a lot of the stuff I learned in class and 2. putting off studying until — well, not the last minute, but it is starting to feel that way.

I’m studying for hours every night, and I feel guilty about running. That’s an hour I’m not studying. I tell myself there’s no guarantee that I will actually spend that extra hour studying, that I might end up farting around online or one of my other patented avoidance techniques. At least running is something productive, and gets out some of my nervous energy. Sort of.

My new treadmill was delivered on Tuesday. I opted for a slightly better model than I previously had (so, instead of the cheapest, I got the second cheapest). It’s quieter, the design is a bit more streamlined, and it has a small fan built in. It also has a decline option, so I can run at a 1% or 2% downhill grade in addition to up to a 10% incline. I wasn’t too sure about how that would feel, but I gave it a shot on Tuesday and it didn’t feel like I was going to fall through the front of the treadmill.

While the treadmill isn’t my favorite choice for a workout, it comes in handy because I don’t waste any excess time driving to a trail, or getting stuck at stoplights. It worked out well yesterday also because we had San Francisco levels of fog for most of the day.

In addition to the anxiety over my test, I’m missing that feeling of accomplishment that comes from running for 2 hours on a weekday after a full day of work. These short runs don’t provide that sense of smug self-satisfaction I get from these medium length weekday runs. I’m not running on trails, either, which I miss, and which I need to get out on, since I’ve got that trail marathon coming up.

I only have *gulp* 8 more days of this before I can get back to higher mileage weeks. I’m looking forward to longer runs (especially now that it is mostly nice out and the sunset is sooooo late), but I’m also terrified about this stupid test and wouldn’t mind an extra 8 days to study. I’m running the Midnight Sun Midnight Run 5K the night after my test, so it’ll either be a triumphant run or a dejected run, depending on my perception of this exam (I don’t get immediate results).

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