Some things:

1. I didn’t run the Turkey Day 5K. I woke up at 6:15 after a very poor night’s sleep. I had a choice between running a crummy race and being exhausted all day, or going back to sleep and feeling like an idiot for not running. I chose to feel like an idiot for not running, but I also had a much more enjoyable Thanksgiving.
2. I’m most likely going to run a 5K this weekend since I’m still chasing the dream. The course will be exactly the same as the one I just ran a month ago, so that’s a positive.
3. I barely ran at all last week, so that’s a negative.

To be truthful, I’m having trouble getting up the motivation to run. I never regret running, but for some reason that’s not enough to get me outside when it is dark, cold, and the streets are covered in snow and ice. The warmer weather and rain washed away the snow and ice, so that obstacle has been eliminated, but I’ve got to figure out how to get motivated, day after day.

Maybe I’d be more motivated if I had a race I was training for. I’m not signed up for anything at the moment. I’m planning on running Zumbro but am not sure which distance, so I haven’t signed up. I’m also planning to run the Superior 25K (and MMM) but the lottery isn’t until January. But maybe that would be worse, feeling more paralyzed and panicked because I am not getting out to train for a race I’ve already paid for. I’m not sure.

I’ve been reading Racing Weight and plan to do a review of the book on here, but the book is kind of depressing me. I’ve gained some weight over the past 6 months or so (I’m not exactly sure), not a significant amount, but when I’m still in the process of trying to slowly lose that weight, it’s not heartening. Racing Weight is not written for people like me, and I knew that going in, but it’s hard to keep reading about the fatty non-athletes who have sad, pathetic motivations for losing weight, unlike the lofty motivations for the elevated, evolved endurance athlete. I don’t have a very good attitude about the book but I’m willing to see it through and see what I can do to improve my performance (and my flab!).

Time to turn the page and get back on track this week, although I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot. It doesn’t matter, though. Turning the page is always, always, always better than closing the book.